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My Articles: Pre-Marriage: Make the first move

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Make the first move
Have you found it difficult to say your piece in front of your sweetheart? Fear not for help is at hand. Check out these simple ways to attract your opposite number?s attention.

Are you the quintessential silent admirer? Someone who is attracted to this person but has never managed to rustle up the nerve to make the direct approach? Does the fear of failure haunt you to such an extent that you have resigned yourself to ?long-distance? longing? If your answer to any of these questions is ?yes?, help is at hand. Here are some easy ways to tell your opposite number that you care?

  • Start a conversation

    The simplest thing to do, and one that will make it less embarrassing, is to start a conversation. How well the other person responds to you will be a good indication of whether you are on a one-way blind alley or whether the admiration is mutual. The next step is doing things together ? could be a project; a studying assignment, a quick lunch. The idea is to get the person you admire to spend more time with you. With any luck, things might just fall into place without any additional effort from your side.

  • Write a letter

    Yes, pick up a paper and pen and write a letter. No e-mail, no instant messaging, no short cuts. There are no short cuts to lending the personal touch. In everyday conversation, you rarely have the opportunity to choose the right words, place it in the right context, mull over it and rephrase it if needed. So, arouse your literary tastes, but try and keep it uncomplicated. Beware though that it is easy in such situations to go overboard and lose it all.

  • Seek a date

    This is not something a guy can do and a girl cannot. If you want positive vibes to crisscross between the two of you, make the move in a direct fashion. No human being will react adversely at somebody showing interest. But, make it a point not to fawn upon your opposite number, as this is a put-off for some.

  • Friends and lovers

    Have you known each other for years? Could be that one of you never thought of the other as a life partner? The problem in such cases is that the person who feels ready for taking the plunge might just not be bold enough to say so. In such situations, it would be best to make some subtle changes in appearances and see whether the friend notices it. Similarly, stay away for a few days to find out if the other misses you.

    Make no mistake though that it is always better to get the load off your chest than keep it pending. Because, there is always a chance that your partner too is the shy type and might have just been waiting for you to make the first move?

  • Hone Your Dating Skills

    Do not make your first date the last one. Over-enthusiasm to please is as much of a killer as playing ultra cool. And never believe that the first date is an invitation for better times ahead.

    How often have you heard guys referring to their first date as the most embarrassing moment of their lives? Dates are moments when you want to be at your best and you goof up trying to put on a mask of a perfect person, which you simply are not! So how can you impress your date and yet be yourself?

    Check out these cool tips, it?ll help you polish your dating skills:

  • Don?t delay communication:

    Don?t hesitate to ask someone out. Today you have the opportunity and tomorrow may be too late. If you like someone, be open about it and leave the rest to the person.

  • Keep a tab on expectations:

    Reality never serves up to expectations. Don?t get carried away by lovers in reel life or for that matter the protagonist of your favorite novel who you thought was the perfect fit. Have realistic expectations, expectations to which the person can at least try and live up to.

  • Is the date happening at all?

    It?s extremely important to ensure that both of you are really interested to go ahead with the date. If either of you are not ready, you may need to give each other some more time. This would create the much-sought respect for each other?s feelings and in turn would willingly start making adjustments to adapt to each other?s feelings.

  • Do not pretend:

    Never pretend to be somebody who you are not, you?ll have to be yourself one day. Nobody is perfect, so be yourself, and believe in yourself. Polish your positives and put your best foot forward, you?ll soon realize nothing can stop your romance from falling for you.

  • Dare to be different:

    Plan your date by co-ordinating with each other. Avoid clich?s in choosing a place. Discuss about making your date different and memorable. How about a bonfire dinner on a beach instead of a candle lit one on a roof top restaurant?

  • Dress to impress:

    Understand the dress sense of the person you are going to meet and wear something precisely that the person likes. It could be very flattering, to find the person you are attracted to, in attire you dreamt about.

  • Communicate effectively:

    Any relationship thrives on communication. Put across your feelings and thoughts effectively so that there?s no room for misunderstanding. Try to pursue an interesting topic for conversation and keep your sentences short and crisp. Spice it up with humor if possible. If you are bad at humor, don?t try hard; just see that you don?t maintain a serious demeanor.

  • Listen intently:

    Listening contributes immensely not only to your conversation skills but also your dating skills. Listening indicates that you are concerned for the other person. A relationship will flourish only if you have a good ear.

  • Don?t jump the gun:

    Take calculated steps in a date. Give yourselves space to understand each other well. Physical intimacy can wait. Prolonging these things will keep you interested in each other longer.

  • Give an apt conclusion:

    Whatever the outcome of your date, you need to give a befitting end to it. If things clicked in your first date, plan another! If it didn?t, bid adieu graciously. Dating is a journey of exploration and the discovery is its destination. Follow these tips diligently to make this journey exciting and the destination even more exhilarating. Happy dating!!!
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