|Funniest Matrimonial Ads
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have
own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of
the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And
you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high.
However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon
the national interest.
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and
understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current
flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife
into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
Wife wanted for company.
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize
the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I
believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of
parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of
wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a
girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view
that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and
jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will
not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and
void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She
must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground.
Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi shooda ho
jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka............... joh kurrey sarey sarey,
Yeah mai butaatah hoon ......... Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah
nahee sarey sarey.
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be
averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of
generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a
nice personality and be a credit to her family.
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an
occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come
round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to
ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a
wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but map reading
skills are a bonus.
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey,
Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh
Monika bhi dey dey!
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and
willing to build relationship from the ground up.
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel
the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants
must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my
universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!