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My Articles: Pre-Marriage: Marry or not to marry?

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Marry or not to marry?
Marriage is considered as a social bond, which needs to be nourished with time and love. For Indians, marriage is a long-term commitment. Nuptials are not only regarded as the union of two souls, but also as a confluence between the two families or descent. It is considered as an important and a diverse phase of our life cycle.

Such long-term commitment decisions need to be thought of rationally, rather than an impulsive decision, which could leave callous imprint in our lives. The recipe for successful marriages goes far beyond the right combination (compatibility) of horoscopes and sun-signs. So, what are the condiments you need to spice up your connubial life? Just season it with the right blend of emotions; attitude and ethics that you stand for and can compromise on and be ready to savour the conjugal bliss.

Here we discuss some of the garnishes for a successful marriage:

Be yourself. You need to accept and respect the person for what they are. Don't go out of your way or overboard in a bid to please your partner. Accept them with all their positive and negative characteristics. Nagging, ridiculing or cribbing will not help you change your partner's habits. But discussing your piques and peeves will help both of you adjust better. Expecting others to change is futile, try and mould yourself without compromising hard on your values and principles.

Physical attraction does matters, so does the beauty of your soul. Beauty is not just skin deep. External beauty fades with time what remains and nourishes the relation is the inner beauty of the soul.

Understanding each other is also a vital aspect of this relationship. There should be no room left for misunderstanding or miscommunication to crop between the two. The chemistry has to be perfect with little room left for explanations. Discuss your thoughts and expectations on being a wife/husband or girlfriend/. Get to know each others likes and dislikes and make best of both.

Respect each other. Respect and accept the person for what they are and as they are. Recognize and appreciate your buddy's abilities and talents. Ridiculing or demeaning will sour the relations. Always stand by your partner and sort out the differences in private.

Religion cannot mar your relationship. Iron out the differences in your opinions in regard to religion, if you both are from different religion. Discuss and understand each other's religious beliefs and customs in particular, this will help you to adjust with the new family customs better. If neither of you practices any specific religion nor has had a religious upbringing, discuss about your value and belief systems (non-religious).

Children are no longer considered as Gods gift. Whether you both want them? If yes, when and how many? Do you consider adoption as an option? Or you both don't believe in having kid's at all. You need to have a fair idea of your partner's thoughts in regard to kids and their upbringing.

Money talks are absolute must. Discuss on how both of you would manage money. Workout on budgeting for your home sweet home or maybe a monthly budget planner! How would each of you manage your money? Joint finances? Separate?

Career compromise becomes must in case both of you are working. Each of you should be willing to compromise to support the other in their career.

Trust and love are the basic elements needed to clutch on to the marital strings. But that's just not enough pizzazz for your relationship. You also need to garnish your paradise with understanding, respect and adjustment sans any pretence or obligation. Spouse should be your best friend with whom you could share anything and everything under this earth. Slightest doubt or hesitation, then friend it's time to rethink your decision for long-term commitment (marriage).
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